


(and i felt it deep within me) the death of something good

by miraellie



Series: something good [1]
Category: Thor (Comics)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-27
Updated: 2011-12-27
Packaged: 2017-10-28 06:07:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/304576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miraellie/pseuds/miraellie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The treachery of their kinsmen and the horror of what just happened could wait until morning. For now it was only them, as in the end it would always be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	(and i felt it deep within me) the death of something good

**Author's Note:**

> Source material taken directly from _The Trials of Loki_. I was always disappointed by how the comics portrayed Loki and Sigyn's relationship. In my opinion they could have done some terrific things with it, but they fell back on tired notions that she's an abused wife (despite the fact we have no evidence of him ever abusing her in the myths). So! As is my way, I said "screw canon" and rewrote part of _The Trials of Loki_ to include Sigyn.

   Sigyn felt the familiar rush of energy wash through her body as she lifted her arm in time with Loki’s, her magic beginning to take shape from her fingertips. Purple light crackled from her hands and soon transformed into a small, thin dragon, a mirror of the illusion Loki had created. She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, a large smile on her face. His green eyes met hers and a smile played at the corners of his mouth before--  
     
    The large wooden doors were thrown open and hit the stone walls with a loud bang. Sigyn jumped and her illusion vanished as she saw Thor barreling into the throne chamber.  
     
    “Loki!” he bellowed, and vaguely Sigyn was aware of Loki taking a step back in fear. She almost did as well, for the look on Thor’s face made her shiver in terror.  
     
    Thor reached Loki and roughly grabbed Loki’s neck. Loki fell back, his expression terrified, and one of his legs knocked over one of the firebearers. Sigyn barely registered the clang of it as it hit the floor; her thoughts were entirely focused on the fact that Thor had his hands around Loki’s neck. “Wait, Thor--” Loki began.  
     
    Anger flooded through her and she reached forward to grab Thor’s shoulder. “Let go of him--”  
     
    Thor barely glanced at her before shoving her away with enough force to throw her back. She hit the stone floor with a yelp, pain shooting up her side where her hip bone had landed on the stone. She dimly heard the disapproving murmur of the others as she sat back up; disapproval that she had dared laid a hand on a Prince of Asgard. She paid it no mind, beginning to stand again to help Loki.  
     
    “Please--” Loki began again, his hands on Thor’s wrists.  
     
    “None of your lies, Loki!” Thor exclaimed, bearing down on him. “Fix what you have done or I swear I will crush every bone in your wretched body!”  
     
    Sigyn rushed over to the two again, disregarding the danger, and her hands found Thor’s arm again. “You will let go of him--” she began, her voice a growl, when an all too calm sigh made all three stop and look back at the king of Asgard.  
     
    “Fix what, Thor?” Odin asked, his voice almost bored, and hatred burned through her entire being.  
     
    _How dare you,_ she wanted to scream. _How dare you be so calm while your son attacks Loki!_  
     
    “Here, Allfather,” Balder said from the still open doorway to the throne chamber. A gasp went through the others and Sigyn saw why.  
     
    Sif was bald.  
     
    Sigyn stared in shock for a very long moment, unable to comprehend Sif without her beautiful golden hair. Sif pulled her fur blanket tighter around her as tears slid down her cheeks. “M-my hair,” she whispered.  
     
    “Wait,” Sigyn said, recovering from her shock. She turned back to Thor, her grip tightening on his arm. “Are you saying you think Loki did that?”  
     
    “Who else could it have been?” Thor demanded.  
     
    “Anyone! What proof have you?” Sigyn demanded right back. She tugged at his arm fruitlessly and had half a mind to dig her fingernails into his skin. “Let go,” she said, her voice low as she glared at the Golden Son.  
     
    “And what proof have you that he did not do it?” Thor said, finally looking at her. He returned her glare, his blue eyes cold and infuriated, but Sigyn refused to show any fear to him.  
     
    Immediately a story sprang to mind and she knew it could save Loki. _He was with me,_ she thought. _Last night. I shared my bed with him._ Before she could answer, Loki’s voice, weak and shaking, stopped her. “I did it,” he said. “I-it was a j-joke--a prank!” Thor growled and tightened his grip on Loki’s throat and Sigyn moved her fingers so she could dig her nails into Thor’s skin. “I swear I will make it right! I swear!” Loki exclaimed, stopping her.  
     
    Thor looked at Loki for what seemed like an eternity before nodding and pulling away. “You will,” he said, his tone a threat. “Or I will make you pay.”  
     
    He shook Sigyn off his arm and she turned to Loki, kneeling next to him. “Loki,” she said, her voice hushed. She reached up to put a hand to his cheek as he brought his own trembling hand to his throat. He stared after Thor, eyes still wide with fear. Only when she touched him did he jump and turn to look at her. “Are you hurt?”  
     
    Loki shook his head and took hold of her wrist gently, bringing it away from his cheek. Without a word to her he stood and turned his gaze to Odin. “I swear I will make this right,” he said, his voice almost steady. Sigyn stood and yearned to reach out to him again, but he turned and walked off before she could.  
     
    A tense silence filled the throne chamber, broken only by the uneasy shifting of a few people and unnerved looks exchanged between others. Sigyn stood still, her gaze to the door Loki had left through. She was aware of some of the people staring at her but met none of their eyes with her own. Finally the silence was broken for good when the people began to murmur to each other, the murmur growing to loud voices and the all too familiar cacophony of the morning feast.  
     
    Sigyn turned and left through the doorway Thor had entered in. _I must get away from these people,_ she thought. _Before I do something I regret. All those who stood aside while Thor attacked Loki._ Her anger fueled her as she stomped down the hall, keeping her from paying attention to where she was really going. With a start she realized she had caught up with Sif and Balder as he took her back to her chambers. Loki had done a thorough job in cutting her hair. Sigyn half wondered how he had managed to accomplish it in the dim moonlight and darkness.  
     
    Hatred and anger and helplessness raged through her and it needed an outlet. Sigyn took the only available one she saw at the moment. “Hair grows back, you know,” she spat out at Sif at she passed the pair. Sif startled a bit, her expression surprised, before her eyes narrowed in anger.  
     
    “You dare defend him?” Sif exclaimed. “I have done nothing to him and he--”  
     
    Sigyn’s sharp, humorless bark of a laugh cut Sif off. “Nothing? Nothing? You are delusional if you think you have done nothing to earn this,” she said. “Might I remind you of that charming little nickname you have for Loki? That is only the beginning of your cruelty towards him, my lady,” Sigyn said, her tone dripping with hatred as she said the title. _I would not have been so kind,_ Sigyn thought but did not say. _I would not have merely cut off your beautiful hair._  
     
    “My ladies, please--” Balder began.  
     
    “Spare me,” Sigyn snapped as she turned and made her way down the hall, leaving them in her wake. After a long while Sigyn finally stopped, her emotions calming enough that she no longer felt like stomping through the halls. Looking around her--she had not really been paying attention to where she’d been going, her thoughts stewing violently as she walked--she realized she had come to Loki’s chambers.  
     
    The door was open and Sigyn could hear hurried movement from inside. After a moment’s pause she walked to the door and put her hand on the doorframe. Loki was going around his chamber, picking up a few things and stuffing them into a small bag. She watched this for a second before saying, “I am so sorry.”  
     
    It hadn’t been what she meant to say, but it was what came out. Loki stopped, startled, and turned to look at her, his hand still halfway reaching for something on his desk. Emotions flitted past his features--surprise, nervousness, anger, sadness, terror--never staying on one for too long. He recovered after a beat and went back to his work. “My lady,” he said roughly. “I do not know what you have to be sorry for.”  
     
    “For Thor,” Sigyn said. “For what just happened.” When he didn’t answer, she spoke again. “May I come in?”  
     
    Loki glanced at her, hesitant, before nodding shortly. “I will not be here for much longer,” he said.  
     
    “I know,” she answered. She walked into his room, her footsteps quiet, and made her way over to his desk. She ran a fingertip over the smooth wood as he continued packing. “Where will you go?”  
     
    “Svartalfheim,” Loki said.  
     
    _The land of the dark elves,_ Sigyn thought. “So then you already have a plan?” She knew the answer. She was speaking merely to talk.  
     
    “I do.”  
     
    Nodding slightly, Sigyn fell silent as he finished packing. He tied off the bag tightly and glanced around his chambers to see if there was anything he had missed. Then his gaze fell on her and he stilled, the first moment he had done so since she’d come in. Something in his expression softened as he looked at her and Sigyn so badly wanted to hold him. “What you did just now,” Loki said, breaking Sigyn out of her thoughts, “standing up to Thor... for me...”  
     
    Sigyn tilted her head and regarded him. “Yes?”  
     
    Loki averted his gaze to the ground. “I thank you for it,” he said quietly, uncomfortably. But she could tell he meant it.  
     
    “I do not want to be thanked,” Sigyn said simply. “I would rather it had never happened at all.”  
     
    “As do I,” Loki said. “You were the only one who did. I will not forget that, my lady.”  
     
    She briefly wondered if he meant her actions or the inactions of the other people in the throne chamber. Then she knew he meant both. Uttering an incantation, Sigyn focused her spell and soon conjured something in her hands.  
     
    “I was going to give you this later,” she said, holding the item in her enclosed hands, hiding it from his view. She approached Loki as he regarded her curiously, his gaze going from her face to her hands. “But now seems like the better time.” She held up a large silver arm band. The sunlight coming in through the windows caught it, making the metal shine and the enchantments engraved in it shimmer. “I have been working on it for a while,” she admitted, suddenly too shy to look at him. “I have enchanted it to bring good luck and safety to the wearer,” she said. “Not that you need my help, or good luck, or--”  
     
    “Thank you,” Loki said softly. She looked up in surprise and blinked when she saw his expression. It was grateful, yes, but there was something else hiding there in the depths of his green eyes that she couldn’t quite put her finger on. She knew if she stared for a moment more she would figure it out, but then Loki turned his attentions to the arm band as he took it from her, and the emotion was gone. His fingers gently brushed against her palms and her skin prickled at his touch. “I will wear it proudly, my lady.”  
     
    “Sigyn,” she said quietly. “How many times do I have to tell you to simply call me Sigyn?”  
     
    Loki grinned as he slipped on the arm band and she bit back a relieved sigh when she saw that it fit properly. “I am not quite that improper.”  
     
    Laughter bubbled up in her chest and escaped her throat, and then she doubled over as it shook her body. His voice joined hers a moment later, quieter and shortlived.  
     
    Finally she righted herself and, with a silly grin, looked at him again. Her spirits dampened a bit as she did and she took a step closer to him. “You should not have to go,” she said. I do not you want to go. “It is ridiculous and only feeds Sif’s vanity.” The words came flooding out of her, angry and hot, before she could stop herself. “But no, she cannot bear to be the subject of mockery, or to be seen as anything less than her perfect, beautiful self by anyone! So you must go and make sure she is not the target of the cruelties you have put up with, the cruelties she herself has thrown at you, for very long.  
     
    “Because Valhalla forbid she learn what it is like to be seen as an outsider, to be looked down upon. Then she might learn empathy. Then she might know what it is like to be us. No, we cannot have her learning a lesson because she is already perfect, is she not?”  
     
    Loki stared at her with a rather shocked expression as she finally fell silent, her breathing hard and quick. Her hands trembled with rage and she very much felt like cursing somebody.  
     
    “I,” Sigyn said after taking a very deep breath, “have many thoughts on this. Very few of them kind.”  
     
    Loki stared at her a moment longer before his face broke out into a smile and he burst into laughter. Sigyn blinked at him in surprise before smiling. Pride welled in her middle; the very idea that she had caused him to laugh after such a horrifying experience seemed impossible, and yet...  
     
    “I believe that is rather an understatement, my lady,” Loki said once he had calmed down some. “But I thank you for sharing your thoughts with me.”  
     
    “I always share my thoughts with you,” Sigyn said. “Just as you do me.”  
     
    Loki looked at her, his expression warm, and there was that emotion in his eyes again. Sigyn longed to lean forward and study it, to figure out what it was, but she stayed her ground. The sight of it warmed her and made her heart beat harder in her chest, so that she felt her pulse in her very fingertips. _I would have him look at me like this always,_ Sigyn thought.  
     
    Realizing she was staring, Sigyn bowed her head and took a step away from him, breaking the tension she felt slightly. “I should not keep you any longer,” she said. “Thor might come after you if you take longer than a half hour to get prepared,” she said, irritation creeping into her voice.  
     
    “Yes,” Loki said, sounding a bit reluctant. “I should go now. I promise to return as soon as possible.”  
     
    Sigyn smiled up at him and he returned it with a small one of his own. While many others would say that he never kept his promises, Sigyn had found that he usually kept the promises he made to her. So it was with utter certainty that she said, “I know you will.” Then, on a whim, she hugged him tightly. It wasn’t something she had intended to do. But she could not bring herself to regret it either.  
     
    Loki tensed in her arms before relaxing and returning her hug. They stayed like that for a few heartbeats before Sigyn, remembering herself, reluctantly let go and stepped back. “Safe travels,” she said quietly. “And easy journeys.”  
     
    Loki’s expression was odd again as he stared at her for a moment. Then he shouldered his bag and nodded to her. “Thank you, my lady. Farewell.” He turned and left her, glancing back once as he made his way out the door. She gave him a shaky smile and stared after him until he disappeared from her view.  
     
    “Farewell,” she said to the empty chamber.  
     
    --  
     
    Sigyn avoided others during Loki’s absence. The whispers that followed her as she walked through the halls of the castle and the looks shot at her as she joined the others during feasts soon became too much for her. While she was used to whispers--they had often accompanied her once she became friends with Loki, and they had grown stronger when they learned she had magic as well--the snatches she was able to catch of their words enraged her to the point that she strongly considered cursing the ones who uttered them.  
     
    _“Laufeyson needed her to protect him.”_  
     
    _“A_ woman _has more bravery than Loki. She was able to stand up to Thor while Loki cowered on the ground.”_  
     
    _“She should have been flogged for laying a hand on the prince.”_  
     
    _“How do we know she did not help Loki in cutting the Lady Sif’s hair? They have always been close, ‘twould not surprise me.”_  
     
    It was during one evening of listening to the accusations at a feast that Sigyn finally slammed her cup down, stood from her seat and walked out without a backward glance at anyone. She had not been back to the court since, instead choosing to spend her time at home. Lofn and Nanna tried to convince her to come back, but she assured them that that was a horrible idea that would only end badly for everyone. She spent her days reading and practicing spells and occasionally embroidering. If she spent any time at the window waiting for some sign of Loki’s return, she would not admit it to anyone, least of all herself.  
     
    It was a harsh reminder of how alone she had truly been before she’d met Loki. Lofn and Nanna meant well, she knew, but they had never really understood her. Sigyn could talk to them about things like clothing and fabric and recipes and sometimes men, but she did not have as much an interest in those things as they did. Just as they had no real interest in magic or books or the yearning to see other realms like she did. Their friendship was shallow at best, a pale reflection of the relationship she had with Loki.  
     
    _That is fine,_ Sigyn thought. _Better to be alone or have only one true friend than to surround myself with traitorous vipers like the ones that inhabit Odin’s court._  
     
    One early dawn, a fortnight after Loki had left, Sigyn woke with the odd certainty that he would return that day. She couldn’t explain it nor did she want to; that would ruin some of the thrill of it, of the absolute knowing deep in her bones that he was coming back. It was her secret to savor and ponder over later. So when Lofn and Nanna halfheartedly tried once again to get her back into the court later that morning, Sigyn, to their surprise, accepted.  
     
    She chose her best dress for the occasion--her dark purple one with gold accents--and put some effort into her hair instead of merely letting it hang loose around her shoulders as she normally did. When Lofn and Nanna saw her, they exchanged a look before beginning to pry.  
     
    “You look gorgeous, Sigyn,” Lofn said. “Care to let us in on the secret?”  
     
    “What secret?” Sigyn said innocently as she fixed her necklace.  
     
    “The secret reason why you are dressed so wonderfully,” Nanna said.  
     
    “I am returning to court after a long time away,” Sigyn said lightly. “Is that not reason enough?”  
     
    “Perhaps for some, but not for you,” Lofn said. Then her eyes widened and she leaned forward in excitement. “Is it a man?”  
     
    Sigyn smirked and walked past them out her front door. “Perhaps.” She dodged the rest of their questions easily as they made their way to the castle. She felt nice, all dressed up as she was. It was a rare occurrence for her, but she wanted to welcome Loki back home after so long away in nothing but her best.  
     
    Nervous and excited, Sigyn let Lofn and Nanna lead her into Gladsheim. Even down the hall she could already hear the familiar sounds of the court gathering for the morning. She walked in through the doors behind her friends and tried not to smile at the slight hush that fell around the room. The conversation soon picked back up again, though, and she took her usual seat amongst the others.  
     
    Trembling, Sigyn spent her time waiting trying to get Theoric to give up on her as a conquest--he was far too much like Thor for her to ever be remotely attracted to him. Especially when the memory of Thor’s hands around Loki’s neck still burned in her mind. Her wait soon ended as the chamber doors opened and a guard stepped in.  
     
    “Loki Laufeyson has returned from his journey, my king,” the guard announced and bowed as Loki stepped in from behind him. Sigyn smiled and stood from her chair, Theoric completely forgotten, as she took him in. He looked a bit weary from his journeys, but otherwise he looked well. And, she realized as her heart skipped a beat, he was still wearing the arm band she’d given him. A dwarf followed behind him, looking irritable, and Loki carried several items in his arms. Loki looked around the room before his eyes found hers and a small smile graced his features. She smiled back and inclined her head to him, resisting the urge to run forward and hug him.  
     
    “Welcome back to Gladsheim, Loki,” Odin said. “Your travels were easy?”  
     
    “They were, Allfather,” Loki said. “And I have brought gifts,” he said, indicating the items he held in his arms. One she could tell was a spear of some sort, long, tall and thin as it was. The others were too small for her to truly guess at. “First allow me to right the wrong I committed a fortnight ago,” Loki announced, holding up an exact replica of Sif’s hair before he had cut it. Sigyn had to admit, it may have been far more beautiful than Sif’s hair originally. The dwarfs had done good work. The hair shone even in the firelight and the color was vibrant and stunning.  
     
    Sif stepped forward, eying Loki cautiously as he handed off the other gifts to the dwarf. He approached her and placed the hair on her head and, after adjusting it for a moment, Sigyn felt the familiar energy of his magic working. She watched, fascinated as she always was when he did magic, as Loki lifted his hands over Sif’s head, the magic making the hair flow up with the movement. Then, with a wave of his hand, the spell was finished and her hair fell back down along her shoulders again.  
     
    Sif hesitantly ran a hand through it, giving Loki a distrustful look, but when she felt that her beauty was indeed restored she allowed herself a small smile. She rejoined Thor, who marveled at her hair, and Sigyn glared after her. _You could at least say thank you._  
     
     Sigyn watched as he began to share the gifts--the spear went to Odin, who admired it and graced Loki with a small smile of approval. Sigyn’s heart leapt to see such, but it did not quite make her forgive him for standing aside as Thor threatened Loki. Loki went around and gave other gifts to Heimdall, Balder and Freyja, and then--to her surprise--Loki turned and came over to her.  
     
    “And for the Lady Sigyn,” he said and held up a silver arm band, just like the one she had created for him. Dark purple jewels were inlaid into the metal and etchings encircled the jewels, mimicking the enchantments she had put on his band. It was simple, certainly not the most impressive of the gifts they had seen that night, but to Sigyn it was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. “This arm band, which is as beautiful as its wearer.” He smiled at her and bowed a bit  
     
    With a shaky hand, Sigyn took the band and smiled at Loki. “Thank you,” she said quietly. Ignoring the murmurs of the people around them, she slid the band up her arm. It was cold and smooth against her skin. _I shall wear it always,_ she thought as she fingered it.  
     
    Loki grinned at her and then stepped away, returning to his usual place in the middle of the room. “And that is all for the gifts, Allfather. Which do you deem the worthiest?”  
     
    “Wait!” The dwarf cried out, raising his hand. “There is one other gift my brother and I forged in our fires!”  
     
    Everyone looked at Loki, some accusingly, others curious. Loki glanced around until his gaze fell on Odin and, reluctantly, he pulled out a large hammer from his cloak and held it up for everyone to see. Even Sigyn had to admit to herself that it was a fine weapon and far better than anything else the dwarfs had made.  
     
    “That hammer,” Odin said, setting aside his spear and standing from his chair. “As beautiful as my spear is, and though its handle is shorter than it should be, that hammer far trumps everything else we have seen here today.”  
     
    A look of panic flashed in Loki’s eyes. “Wait, Allfather, that means--”  
     
    “Loki’s head is forfeit!” The dwarf exclaimed happily. “Loki’s head is Brokk’s!”  
     
    Sigyn’s hand went to her mouth in horror and she stared, her eyes wide, at Loki. He met her gaze briefly before the laughter of the others made him look away. Sigyn glanced around at the others, unable to comprehend what she was hearing. They were _laughing_. Every single person, even Lofn and Nanna, were smiling and laughing at Loki’s predicament.  
     
    _How_ dare _you,_ Sigyn thought. _How could you laugh at this?_ Tears welled up in her eyes and she began to step forward to help Loki in whatever way she could. A hand grabbed her upper arm and brought her back a bit.  
     
    “Get your hand off me,” Sigyn growled, turning to look at Theoric.  
     
    “This is not your place, my lady,” he said, his smile fading. “Unless you wish to lose your head as well because of him?”  
     
    Sigyn tugged at her arm but could not force it from his tight grip. “I said, _let go_ \--”  
     
    “My--” Loki said, his voice shaking. Sigyn looked back to him, Theoric forgotten, as Loki put a hand to his neck. His expression quickly went from worried to relieved and a small smile formed on his face. Somehow it did not make her feel any better. “My head may be forfeit, but my neck is not. If you can find a way to separate my head without harming my neck, it’s yours. If not, Loki’s head stays with Loki.”  
     
    Loki looked to Odin to see if this was a good solution, and Sigyn’s heart broke at the hope she saw in his eyes. Odin and Frigga talked quietly to each other for a few moments before Odin pulled away from his wife and gave Loki a short nod. “That is acceptable.”  
     
    Sigyn watched, biting her bottom lip hard, as Brokk thought this over. He was clearly unhappy with this turn of events. But then he turned to Thor, who still stood by Sif, and his expression turned pleading. “Thor Odinson,” he began, “you have honour. You know Loki’s tricks. Help me...” He sounded so helpless and pitiable and Sigyn hated him for it.  
     
    Thor looked up from Brokk to Loki. Sigyn saw Thor’s expression harden, his eyes narrowing in anger and his mouth becoming a thin line, and she knew it was over. Loki would not trick his out of this unscathed. “You will not make a mockery of everything, Loki.” She tugged harder against Theoric’s grip, causing pain to shoot up her arm, but she ignored it as she tried to run over to Loki.  
     
    “No,” she exclaimed. “Please, Thor, whatever it is you intend to do--”  
     
    “Hold her still and quiet, Theoric,” Thor commanded. “She is not to disrupt the punishment.”  
     
    “No,” Sigyn shrieked as Theoric pulled her closer to him, bending her arm back behind her back. He put his other hand over her mouth, muffling her shriek, and kept his grip tight on her as she writhed against him.  
     
    “Silence,” Odin ordered, his gaze cutting to her. She returned it with a glare and fought harder against Theoric. Thor said something to Brokk, who nodded, and then Thor went over to Loki who was cringing and stepping away from him.  
     
    “Thor, please--” Loki began. His plea was cut off when Thor roughly grabbed him and forced him to the floor, pinning Loki’s legs underneath him and taking hold of Loki’s wrists none too gently. Loki cried out in pain as he hit the stone floor.  
     
    _No,_ Sigyn thought. _Please, no, no,_ no.  
     
    Brokk pulled out something from a pocket and, with a shudder, Sigyn realized it was a silver needle and a thick piece of brown cord. Brokk threaded the cord through the needle and then turned to the struggling Loki and the all too strong Thor. The dwarf knelt beside Loki’s head and brought the needle down, and--  
     
    “No,” Sigyn screamed, her muffled voice joining Loki’s clear cry of pain as the needle was pierced through his bottom lip. Loki struggled harder, his body jerking from the pain, but Thor’s grip was strong. Brokk continued to work, slowly bringing the needle through Loki’s upper lip and pulling tightly. Loki’s eyes were wide and panicked, full of agony. His nails scrapped against the stones and his palms slapped against the floor. Then he turned his gaze to her and she felt herself beginning to cry, seeing the tears in his eyes.  
     
    Without a thought, Sigyn opened her mouth and bit down on Theoric’s hand, breaking the skin. She barely tasted the blood on her tongue as Theoric cried out and moved back, letting go of her. “Stop it,” she screamed, running forward. She was halfway there before another body ran out in front of her, knocking her back onto the floor.  
     
    “I have no wish to hurt you, my lady,” Freyr said. “But you must not intervene.” Theoric rushed forward and took hold of her again, his grip stronger this time, his fingers digging into her skin so hard she knew the bruises would last for days. But it was nothing compared to what was happening to Loki, what she was failing to stop, what she _had_ to stop--  
     
    Brokk pulled the last stitch tight and then cut the cord. Loki’s eyes were still entirely on Sigyn, but she could tell he was not even truly seeing her anymore. Blood ran down his chin and neck and he had torn off his fingernails on the stones. His entire body trembled, verging on body wracking tremors, and only when Thor and Brokk stepped away did he blink. With that simple act it was as if some sort of spell was broken and he came back to the real world.  
     
    Slowly he brought his shaking hands up to his mouth, horror clear on his face, and numbly he looked around to the others to see if anyone would speak. At the sight of him, someone laughed--Sigyn didn’t know who, couldn’t tear her gaze away from Loki--and with that, the tension was broken and soon laughter surrounded her, mocked her. Some of the others clapped and vaguely she was aware of Brokk saying, “It is not your head, but that will keep you from telling any more lies for a while.”  
     
    Sigyn looked at the dwarf, sure of the cold fury on her face, but before she could kill him with a spell he picked up the forgotten hammer. “Thor, for living with honour, for being a friend to the dwarves, take this hammer Mjolnir.” Brokk lifted it up to Thor who, after a moment of mild surprise, took it from the dwarf. “Forged with our magicks, it is unbreakable. But it will break anything. Hurl it as far as you can, and it will always return to your hand.”  
     
    Sigyn stared on in horror as Thor was rewarded for the torture he had helped inflict on Loki. A spell began working its way in her mind, unfurling, the energy building up in her middle and longing to be let out. It would be so easy. But a small sound made her stop and turn her attentions away from Thor and Brokk to Loki. Loki, who still sat in the middle of the room, the blood still running down his chin, who looked on in despair at Thor.  
     
    Loki stood, looking around as everyone continued to laugh and clap, and slowly he backed out of the throne room. He didn’t even look at her as he finally turned and ran out, stumbling a little before he disappeared from her view.  
     
    “I hope it teaches him a valuable lesson,” Sif said as she came to stand by Thor’s side again.  
     
    Belatedly, Sigyn realized Theoric had let go of her. Scrambling to her feet, she looked around at everyone, tears running down her cheeks. “How could you?” she whispered. Her gaze found Thor and she felt something break inside of her, building up in her and clawing at her throat. “How could you?” she screamed, shocking everyone into silence. Shaking, in rage and terror, she ran after Loki before anyone could stop her, before she could throw every curse she knew at every betrayer in the throne chamber.  
     
    “Loki,” she screamed as she ran down the hall, her footsteps echoing down the empty corridor. “Loki.” Her voice broke into a sob and she hastily wiped away her tears. She kept running, somehow knowing where he would be with the same certainty she’d had earlier in the morning with the knowledge that he was returning. She ran until her feet hurt and she was out of breath, but she didn’t stop until she had made it to his secret study.  
     
    Quickly speaking the spell to open the door, Sigyn pushed it aside and blinked against the darkness. He hadn’t lit any fires and the fires in the corridor did nothing to illuminate the room to her. With a thought, Sigyn held out her palm and conjured up a flame, bringing it into the room. “Loki?” she whispered as she stepped in. Blindly she reached out and found the candles he kept and lit each one, bringing the room into focus.  
     
    She found him, huddled in a corner, his gaze still terrified. A sob escaped from her at the sight of him, almost like a wild animal, watching her closely to see if she would hurt him as well. “Loki,” she said, going over to him. She fell to her knees at his side and brought her trembling hands to his cheeks. “Oh, Valhalla, Loki.” She touched him gingerly and he visibly cringed. “I’m sorry,” Sigyn said quietly. “I’m so, so sorry.”  
     
    Loki looked at her, tears mingling with the blood still on his chin and neck, and Sigyn saw something broken in his eyes. Sobbing, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and hugged him tightly. After a moment Loki returned her hug, his fingers clawing desperately at her dress, like a dying man holding on to his last hope of survival. They stayed like that for a while, her crying and him holding on to her, before she finally pulled away.  
     
    “I will make this right,” she said. “I promise you.” Something in her voice--her vehemence, maybe--made Loki pause a bit, but then he nodded once, shortly. Sigyn took a deep, shuddering breath, hating what she was about to say. “Do you still have that small knife in here?”  
     
    Loki, eyes widening as he realized what she intended to do, stared at her for a long second before nodding again. He looked over to his desk and Sigyn sighed, standing on shaky and numb legs. She made her way over to the desk and quickly found the knife. Then she conjured up some cloths and healing ointment. She took everything and went back to Loki, kneeling down in front of him again.  
     
    “This is going to hurt,” she said. “I’m so sorry.”  
     
    Loki’s look told her everything she needed to know. With a slight shock she realized there was a hesitant trust in his expression, past the agony and the brokenness she saw in his eyes. Swallowing hard, Sigyn leaned forward and gently put her hand behind his head. Then, after only a second’s hesitation, she put the tip of the knife under the first stitch and swiftly cut it loose. Loki cringed in pain but made no move to pull out of her grasp. He simply stared at her as she worked with careful, precise motions, the tight cord slowly becoming looser and looser as she cut it away. Sometimes she nicked his lips--Brokk had done the stitches tight--and every time she did, she would put her hand to his cheek and apologize softly.  
     
    Finally she cut away the last stitch and pulled the remains of the cord out as gently as she could. Then she burned the damnable things, reducing them to nothing but ash on the floor that she quickly wiped away. Setting down the knife and picking up a cloth, Sigyn dipped it in a bowl of water and went about gently washing off the blood that was now dried on his chin and neck. Loki shut his eyes briefly when she moved the cloth against his lips and the wounds, but still he did not try to move away from her.  
     
    With the blood washed away Sigyn picked up the bottle of healing ointment and put some on her fingertips. Then, leaning forward, she softly touched the ointment to the holes in his lips until each one was covered. She wiped off her fingertips and then took the remains of the clothes and tore them into small strips. These she placed gingerly over his torn away fingernails. His hands shook just slightly, as hers did.

    Once she was done, she sat back and simply stared at him. He hadn’t made a noise since his lips had been sealed shut. She herself felt strangely numb, having screamed her feelings out, her throat raw and her hands still shaking ever so slightly. She held on to that numbness and tried to still her shaking hands.  
     
    She had to focus on Loki for now. Her wounds were deep, but his were unreachable, and she could only soothe them so much. She had to be strong for him.  
     
    Sigyn crept closer to him and held him, making sure he didn’t put his face in the dried blood on her shoulder and dress. Loki let her hold him, and after a time took a deep breath, almost as if he were taking in her scent. He clung to her again and rested his forehead against her shoulder, letting out a shuddering sigh.  
     
    “I will not leave you,” she said softly, lips brushing against his ear. “I promise.” Loki shivered underneath her hands and did not respond. She hadn’t expected him to. Instead she merely leaned back against the wall, Loki following her, and they held on to one another until they both fell into a dreamless sleep. The treachery of their kinsmen and the horror of what just happened could wait until morning. For now it was only them, as in the end it would always be.


End file.
